Shane Allison

Personal Assistant

Andy Griffith loves apple pie
With cautioned hot filling.
Bea Arthur loves big macs.
Special sauce pasted at the corners
Of her mouth.
Courtney Love loves chicken nuggets
Dipped in honey mustard sauce.
Della Reese loves Dunkin Donuts
With fruity filling.
Elijah Wood loves Eggo waffles
With maple syrup.
Farrah Fawcett loves barbecue-flavored Fritos.
Gweneth Paltrow loves Gummy Bears.
The yellow ones are her favorite.
Holly Hunter loves hot dogs
With extra mayonnaise.
Ian Mc Kellen loves Italian pork sausages.
Jack Nicholson loves jujyfruits,
But hates it when it gets stuck in his teeth.
Kim Cattrall is coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.
Loren Hutton hates lima beans.
Mira Sorvino loves macaroni & cheese
With meatballs.
Nicole Kidman loves Nutri-grain bars.
Oprah Winfrey loves a good omelet.
Puff Daddy loves pork skins
with tobasco sauce.
Quentin Tarintino loves quarter pounders w/cheese.
Richard Gere loves relish by the bowlful.
Sally Field loves nothing more than a good sausage Mcmuffin,
Yet Tom Selleck hates tomato paste,
But he'll do anything for a tortilla.
Uma Thurman loves Uncle Ben's rice.
Val Kilmer loves a good veal cutlet.
Whoppi Goldberg hates walnuts,
But loves xtra value meals.
Yoko Ono hates yogurt
With fruit at the bottom,
But Zsa Zsa Gabor loves zucchini.

My Mama is an Icon

my mama rearranges her walk-in closet of purses, shoes and clothes
my mama has gray hairs
my mama's thin, dark lips
my mama soaks her dentures in a little blue case
my mama's purple finger nails
my mama makes the best chicken and pearlo rice
my mama had her bunions removed and was bed-ridden for a week
my mama is moody and menaupausal
my mama irons her uniforms for work
my mama got sick from eating boiled eggs yesterday
my mama cleans and cuts chitterlings with orange scissors
my mama got fired from her job because she refused to sweep the porch. It
wasn't in her job description
my mama goes to church and trusts in the Lord
my mama with all her gospel tapes
my mama says come in here, boy and clean these crumbs off this table
my mama should bake more often
my mama is back down to a size 10
my mama's bloody tampons rolled up in balls in the trash can
my mama had her bedroom painted Pepto Bismol-pink
my mama brings back shrimp and hush puppies from Seinyard
my mama made four delicious pumpkin pies
my mama used to shop at Casual Corner all the time
my mama and I used to go everywhere together
My mama's hair in pink rollers
my mama likes to mix her bacon in with her grits and eggs
my mama asks, what'chu doin', playin' with yourself?
my mama washes and folds my tighty-whities
my mama has a bushy vagina
my mama goes to give grandma her insulin for the day
my mama had a dog and named him Ross
my mama had a cat and called him kitty
my mama eats Honey Nut Cheerios
my mama likes tomatoes and chopped onions with her greens
my mama likes her porkchops smothered in gravy
my mama doesn't care too much for pancakes
my mama needs to get the brakes fixed on the car
my mama can be such a bitch sometimes
my mama doesn't curse anymore
my mama doesn't want a faggot for a son
my mama still boils bologna and hotdogs in this day and age
my mama cooks everything store-bought
my mama had a miscarriage before I was born
my mama went to the hospital to have my sister. I cried because I thought
my mama had died
my mama has bags under her eyes from all the crying.
my mama bitches and moans about everything
my mama gave birth to me
my mama is an icon